Gorgeousness....

My friend Mandy made this for her husband's birthday. She's chief executive chef of Crown Hotel in Melb and a part time model.

Doesn't it look gorgeous?

Little Adelaide highlights

I'm back!

My trip to Adelaide was good. Finally, I have been able to revisit all my nostalgia and some of my buried pain. God has jump-started the process of healing in my heart again. Wafts and wafts of pain just rose and surfaced. To cry, to confront cynicism, to be told about His goodness and His deep deep love for me again and again. To be reminded of his affirmation and acceptance...

Tendayi, Sisi, Tasha, Jing and I had a great time. We wandered around the city at 'tourist' pace, annoying all the ppl walking behind us. We ate delectable pasta dishes at Passatempo.

We shopped for clothes and chocolate. Ate chocolate. Haigh's chocolate is trully fab! Anyone who orders from them[you can go online and get it mailed to your doorstep] should try the coffee beans covered with dark choc[YUM}. Try also the white chocolate block with strawberries in it!

We did some wine-blending in the Barossa Penfolds Vineyard. Made our very own mixtures of Grenache, Shiraz and the Mountevedre or something....:)....also bought a nice white wine to try.

I caught up with old friends Ivan and Ben. There was also Ps Brendan and Helen, Eddie, Trang, Andy, Anoushka, Keegan, Paul, Nick, Janice. Thank you all for lifts, accomodation,encouragement, prayer, Peking Duck[thanks janice!], chocolate soup, chocolate fondue[haha..thanks for bearing with my choc craze ivan], the walks, the talks...

I visited the Liberian lifegroup and was profoundly moved by their worship by the patience of the leaders involved with them.

I met new friends like Fiona, Xin Wei, Stephen, Xiao Qiang....

Too many things were going on....this is just a fragment ....

Best of all God blessed me with a new song of worship that I could bless the church with.....
I love you God.

Reaching out to God ...in Adelaide

This is my second day in Adelaide.

I call it my second home, because I started my true walk-day-to-day with God here. It is where I learned how to do quiet time and it is where I first heard the voice of God so clearly.

I've struggled to be really happy since I left. And everytime I come back, all the pent-up emotions [from darily living and repression in Brisbane] resurface. The tears feel free to break loose. The laughter comes easily. The awareness of God increases.

Talking to an old friend, a sweet lady name Trang who is one of the leaders here, I discovered that nature energises me in a curious way. I seem to be much more aware of God in a beautiful natural surrounding. I walked through the city and found myself just starting to pray in tongues. I sat beside the river at Elder Park and watched the blue skies and green grass and I just felt the feeling of closeness to God WELL up in my soul.

I've often lamented that Brisbane was not pretty. Somehow, though I grow and I am tested in Brissy, I've never LOVED the landscape. I've experienced God, but the inspiration that comes from nature is missing.

I've tried. I've gone jogging to some near grassy dell beside a creek to do quiet time. It's not very nice there, but it's SOMETHING.

Here, I am inspired to worship constantly. It brings the songs out of me. I love the trees, the maple leaves, the bare boughs stripped by winter, the green grass, the sun+the chill together, the old buildings, the birds, the river, the houses...

It's not an exciting city. Nothing very much happens[though there are festivals and lots of culture happening]. Bus drivers might be rude The bus system is not as advanced as Brisbane. Nor the trains.

But oh...i have such a deep deep love for it, because God reached out to me here, and touched me and I've never been the same.

Now, I'm reaching back. God, I need to find you again...

Just having photo fun!

Bunch of posers...

Queen of posers...

Ahhh....thank you daniel loo...my fav.

Ripped off Miranda's blog....SHINE

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be fabulous, brilliant, talented, gorgeous? Actually, who are you not to be, you are a child of God and playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, like children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in every one of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give people permission to do the same."

Nelson Mandela

PONDER...

As long as the light that we are shining is God's glory, I think we can shine all the way.

I used to hold back and shrink. I hated what others would say, how they wouldn't understand, and how they treated you weird if you were any better at anything, or at many things. Or if you were more privileged, or if you were just more dedicated. It was a harsh reality that shining sometimes means ppl hate you for it.

I compromised, and spiralled downward into a horrible mess.

Now, I will compromise no more. But ... just need to be careful. God's glory. Not my own...

Different place I've eaten at the past week

Freestyle Tout for desert/dinner.

Toscani's for breakfast.

Korean BBQ for Peggy's dinner.

Papa Beard Cream Puffs for snacks.

Check out charislovesfood.blogspot.com. for more details and to give me your own comments.

My escape: Work

I was chatting with a dear friend yesterday night. The conversation made me realise something. I am a workaholic. It's my way of escape.

Some people binge on food[lots of girls do]. Some drink themselves silly. Some watch TV and dramas all day. Some listen to emo music. What does Charis do? WORK.WORK herself silly.

It's not as crazy as it sounds at first. It's not even as good as it sounds at first.:). I might look very hardworking. Very Motivated. Very Driven. Well, I wasn't always like that. I was pretty sanguine as a child. I liked fun. I wasn't driven though I was very active in many things thanks to the exposure my parents gave me to the arts and to church. Things changed along the way. I needed to find my happiness through something[when I wasn't right with God]. It slowly became achievement, results and WORK.

For the past 4 years, i've often worked myself to the bone. The more stressed and the lower the self-esteem, the more I worked. That's why I barely do a thing when I am back home for the holidays.[i don't practise. i don't work for money. I don't do my account again and again. I hate cleaning and avoid like crazy]. That's when I'm relaxed, happy, and I don't have to prove myself because my parents love me to bits.

it's a different thing out on my own. It's hard to find anyone who loves you to bits forever. It's hard to feel safe and looked after.
So I WORK and WORK for money. I look for more jobs.
I wake up and instantly I start cleaning the house and the room.
I cook.
I do the laundry with incessant vigour and with a lot of speed so I can do more things.
I do my accounts almost every 2-3 days, toting up all my money.
I used to pile up more ministries.
I used to force practice.
Anything to feel productive.
When I'm unhappy, I work even harder, I seem to be even more productive in crisis.

And YES, I was and am productive. These things are GOOD in itself.

BUT, I was listening to Phil Pringle's sermon.
"it's amazing how many substitutes we can find for Jesus". I find it SO hard to rest and turn to Jesus, instead of piling up my schedule with more work. More on the 'to do' list to tick off.

Jesus. When will I learn to just come to you because your yoke is easy and your burden is light?
Teach me.....

23 and counting

Happy Birthday to Charis. Yes. 23 now.

I had a few little surprises that day. My student's mom found out through the school administrator that is was my big day [not wedding! but just b'day], and popped by after her lesson to give me a plate of cheese puffs and a bottle of champagne. GORGEOUS woman!

My other student gave me a little butterfly today in blue and silver. She was incredibly sweet.

One student danced to Sk8ter Boi for me. haha...that was really good for a 9 year old. Her own choreography too.

I got the extra job was applying to today too. Wow...full time hours next term most likely.

Peggy gave me a purple tulip. It is very interesting. I've had white and pink tulips, but never purple.

Mommy and Papa msged and called. My sisters sang happy birthday.

I'm 23. It sounds very mature. I'm not afraid of age. But I'm afraid of the speed of the years. wasn't I just 18 and a newbie in uni? It's all gone now. Wasn't I the young baby in lifegroup?It's all changed now.

But by the grace of God, I am who I am today. I've learnt a mountainfull of stuff these 5 years.
I've learned to love God more, I've learned to love people more. With these 2 on the way, I think I will be in a good path.....

Thank you to all who came to eat with me, for those who showered me with love.

Most of all, God, Thank YOU.

A tribute to mentors

It's shepherd appreciation day.
I want to write a line or 2 in honour of the ppl that have shaped my life along the years.

• Pa and Mom - My father is an exemplary spiritual leader of the house, spiritual leader in the church, natural leader in the community. What better thing can be said of a full-grown man? He is compassionate and motivational. From him stems my passion to fulfill my God-given potential and do thing excellently. From him comes the spiritual insights and the life example of a working professional who serves God so fully and is humble, stable, yet passionate for God always.Mom...I've had a post about her already in 2007[check it out]. Thank God for your investment into my life all the time, since I was a baby. My training in the arts, in books and reading, in life-skills, in budgeting, in the Word of God.

• Uncle David James and Aunty Susan - Godpa and Godma, thank you for always caring and providing a safe emotional haven for me. Your generosity and hugs will never be forgotten...Love you.

• Mel - We've had plenty of ups and downs. We've been through thick and thin. But you've always tried to care and exhort me with sound advice and present different ideas/perspectives. Thank you for shaping my life. Thank you for making me stronger in character.

• Yong Hui - You're so sold out for the Kingdom and so in love with God. Your countless spiritual insights, your books that you readily lent and gave me, your wisdom and counsel, your maturity and caution have enriched my life. Please keep on serving the King. Your calling is great!

• Peter Truong - What can I say but to be mentored personally by Peter for 3 years has been such an honour and privilege? Yours was the ministry umbrella that I discovered and starting living my potential in evangelism and outreach, in the prophetic and in missions. Thank you so much. For always believing in me, for always giving me a platform, for your prayers and concern.

• Lai Ling - The emotionally safe, and the compassion giver in times of doubt, discouragement and turmoil. The ultimate forgiver, the powerfully prophetic, the fountain of love....I have a post on her too!

• Belle and Lance - For candidness, encouragement, sensitivity in the Spirit and concern showed especially in my times of doubt. For passion for the things of God modelled!

• Natalie - Nat, it is so refreshing to have someone go before me and understand me in so many ways. You're one of the few I can stomach rebukes from, because you always encourage and inspire at the same time. Thank you for prayers, silliness, tickles, honesty, firmness and love.....

Thank you and love you all.