I'm struggling so very hard with so many questions. So many of these questions I can answer myself.But I cannot believe in something I have no conviction about. Heart knowledge is vital...for me anyway.
Is God really going to work for my benefit?I know He is good and all-powerful and loving.
Why is He so unpredictable?When willI really see the blazingly miraculous that will not be scoffed at in the postmodern world?The lame walking, the blind seeing, AIDS being healed? Mental diseases and depression falling off people like water off a duck's back!Jesus, can you really set people free instantly?How much faith do I need before you can do it Lord? I really want to see it.Not just a powerless Christianity. Not just a loveless, lifeless, failure - ridden Christianity. Where's your grace, my Lord?Where is the power?
What is submission Lord?How much do I need to take before I can disagree without rebelling?
And why did my cat die and won't come back to life though I prayed?It was so cute...
Why did I decide to live by faith Lord?It's so very uncertain....
I love you....please help me understand.
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