Charismatic

I've been thinking about the life of celebrities, and what it means to be one. Or rather, what it will take to be one, what perks it offers, and what is the price one has to pay.  I've also been thinking about being celebrity in the Christian world. Obviously, no matter what we say about people being equal in our 'godly' world, we would still gasp, stare and want to take pictures if Darlene Zschech came to our church, and if say Joyce Meyer, John Bevere etc appeared near us. Their lives are much more scrutinized, criticized and admired.  This brings me to Taiwan and celebrity life here, especially in church. It does seem like if you're a christian celebrity or a secular celebrity [secular meaning in entertainment that's not necessarily christian per say] , or even an upcoming one, you do get VIP treatment in some churches. You get reserved seats. You get more attention. You get pointed out by the pastor. You get a lot people trying to be really nice to you and...

 If I never saw the desires of my heart fulfilled, if I never got those things in life that I really wanted, if things never did turn out the way I would like to have planned, if my hopes and dreams were never realized, I would be okay. Not because I want to be defeated, but because indeed just knowing God, and having a relationship with Him was more than enough. I only asked God for one thing, “Wash me clean of my sins and keep me faithful to the end!” When I die, I only ask that I die with one thing in my heart and that is… integrity (JM 2010)

It hasn't been the best of weeks..... I've been so flat out...still am. I'm groggily typing this because my mind is not ready to take up another bout of arranging. I'll need to start after lunch though. Arrangement and production is heavy heavy work. No wonder John the Ongstar used to look grumpy and edgy all the time. I can empathize now. And he wasn't paid properly most of the time. At least I'll be paid quite ok I think. The artist I'm working for has a budget.  But yea, lots of little things have been getting on my nerves. Like waiting for taxis for 10 minutes instead of getting one in 1-2 minutes. Like housemate eating up my beloved pineapple bun I was saving in the fridge. Like needing to walk up the hill in hot sun back and forth from the MRT. Like turning up for a lesson and realizing that they've changed the time and they didn't inform me....and i've wasted 3 hours by traveling back and forth. Like burning the pot ...coz I didn't k...

I must say, I detest the walking down the road from my house to the MRT. Because I'm usually rushing for time and I get hot and sweaty and my make up gets all messed up. 15 minutes up and down a hill is too much when you're trying to get to just an MRT station.  BUT, when I'm walking up the road back home, it's night time [usually]. It's cooler. And I don't mind the peace and quiet and the time to reflect on my day. I started off the day with stomach aches and diarrhea. Must have eaten something funky yesterday night with my lifegroup. Wonder what was bad. I haven't had any issues with food here so far. So I was sleeping in all day and felt very bad for doing so, because I HAVE WORK TO DO. But you can't really help feeling dehydrated and fatigued when you have food poisoning...even very mildly. I have a strong stomach and I rarely have issues when others do. So something must have been pretty funky/dirty. One new thing is that I've been going for ...

I spent an afternoon recording my first...youtube video of sorts. And I did it in English and Chinese....teeheee..quite proud of myself. Here they are! Enjoy and feel free to comment on my Youtube page!!! English 中文版 Chinese Version

*warning, long post ahead. Check out this article here . It is a Chinese article with an English translation. It is written with passion and with eloquence (I think anyway) by a Malaysian Chinese studying in Peking University.  I've struggled with issues of identity all my life. More so than my sisters I think. It's probably part and parcel of being partly melancholic. And also because I was never satisfied to be narrow and one-dimensional. It was difficult to navigate around my little town and circles of friends, trying to fit it with everyone. Examples?  The jocks [volleyball team] spoke in Hokkien. They had average grades...or bad ones. They were more uncultured [speech generally peppered with cussing], but full of fun and athletic, physical grace.  Jocks definitely didn't fit in with my slender [generally...not always] girl friends from ballet.  My nerdy Chinese school academic classmates would never hang out with jocks. Nor with my English speaking, we...

So freaking emotional today.  Don't really know what's up [or down]. Though I must say church is great comfort and I'm always happy I'm there for service or life-group. My life group is great...really direct and innocent in some ways....affectionate people.  Maybe it's the de-stress reaction after the last week of intense arranging, practising and recording. I used to get physically sick during uni after exams or stressful events. I'd get keyed up so high and perform very well with the pressure and adrenaline fueling my performance. And then, I'd fall sick. I guess I'm not physically sick now, but emotionally just overwhelmed.  I think I must be kinder to myself some ways, and tougher in some ways. Tougher on my habits. No sleeping too late...not too much internet....more exercise. But kinder on my emotions. Allow myself space to be overwhelmed. Since Adelaide 2003 I've never been very good at giving myself space to get used to new environments. M...

Had lunch with my "cover" and my good friend, Rubecca...as Taiwanese christians call people who are your spiritual covering. Well, there was Jeff, the producer who helps me out randomly almost every week or so by suggesting some odd project or 2 to increase my portfolio. I've been recording at GOOD TV for the last 2 days, some band playing and some singing. It's a start. Gives you experience you need in front of an audience that is not so critical as the norm. Or as interested in gossip or silly things. It was simple lunch at an old little 热炒 [literally translated as hot stir-fry] restaurant. Eggs, Huan Zhu Hiok [sweet potato leaves], Kangkong, Fish, Fried rice, Beehoon and pork, Taufufa and Liong Fun. Mr "Cover" is Bro. Lin Jian Ping （剑萍哥）. He has a daughter my age, so he treats me like another one.  Today he expounded on why it takes more effort to depend on God as we progress in our spiritual life. And he also talked about the perils of being too rich a...

I was rehearsing a new song with my new friend Ray today. It was fun. But I'm getting tired of long traveling times. It takes me at 45 minutes to get anywhere in Taipei (15 mins walk down the hill, 30 mins on the MRT or bus)...and about 1 hour and 15 minutes to get to the other side of the city. Well, yes, I did it in Brisbane for many years. It was very good training, traveling from South to North everyday on public transport. But oh....I miss Alor Star and driving cars to get some place in 10 minutes. It was funny....getting to know Ray as a musician, and his lovely wife Eva. Ray was insisting he was not a 'guitarist' per say, but more of a singer who could play decent guitar. Maybe. So am I a 'pianist' or am I a singer who can play decent piano? Am I a singer or am I a muso who can sing decently? I've often felt like the latter.  **I'm watching Taiwanese MV's as I type. If I see another video with busses, greyish coloring, wind blowing through the g...

Find the rest of the article here "Unless we choose to make a decision today, we will never choose to do it tomorrow. When Moses was finally convinced that God would do what He said He would do, He went. I’m sure he was still shaking in his boots and insecure about his mumbling problems, but something inside of him said, “It’s not about me right now, it’s about God and it’s about His love for His people.” The hero doesn’t live for himself. The hero lives for what He believes in. The hero doesn’t know the outcome of the battle, but he knows the reason why he’s fighting. Who are you fighting for? Who are you living for? We are bombarded to live for security, to live nice Christian lives, to please others and to live safe. Did Jesus ever live safe? What do you really believe in? Do you really believe God is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? Is the great commission for everyone or just the talented and gifted Christians? Do you believe God has wonderfully and fearfully created...