Charismatic

Let's go back all the way to March when T proposed, shall we? Honestly, I already sensed it was coming because we were going to leave for Australia in a week and he had planned to propose before then. However, he put a lot of thought into it and I appreciated the effort with all my heart! We were out on a simple dinner date. He had already given the keys to a  couple of life group friends who were in the know. Their job was to decorate the place with whatever T had already purchased beforehand. T then asked me to swing by his place, and when we entered the place was all aglow… The gals had done a fantabulous job with the decor!  "Marry me" and a heart of candles. Petals everywhere. He knelt Most importantly a bunch of people burst out from behind with their phones and cameras I was laughing, not crying… It wasn't easy to absorb what was happening around me, and respond in a ecstatic manner.  I said yes after his spee...

Eva, one of the first people I met in Taiwan [on holiday 2009] The meal was her shout. HUGZZ Pesto chicken risotto. It's the yums! Fettucine with prawns and cream sauce Mojito - <3 my cocktails Layered cake Feeling so much better today. Thank God for friends who remind you of God's grace in beautiful ways.  One of the reasons I love my church is because it's full of people who understand and dispense God's grace. I've never heard condemnation and accusations. I've never heard my church friends around criticize other christians [though I've heard other ppl from other churches do it]. I hear honest feedback if one needs to change and grow. But they exude grace, love and authenticity.  I was whining to Eva today about how success seems to comes so easily for some people, and they don't seem to need to try very hard at all (e.g. mainly thinking about a pair of twins). Recently, one of them got married, an...

Of course, I'm not referring to THAT soap. I'm talking about a loosely constructed organization called the Fire-makers,  a bunch of Christian artists/musos/hair and makeup stylists etc who are...well, young and restless.  After reflecting on 2012, I realised that the Fire-makers have become community for me in the areas of work and ministry. * I am still involved with my 'normal people/normal life' cell-group. They are 'family' in ways that divert me from the music world, which is very necessary sometimes. And they keep me in touch with the 'normal' world of people who work 9am to 5pm [or 8am - 8pm more likely], who don't play instruments, who are experts in other fields etc.  From October to December, I saw most of the Fire-makers every 1-2 days, mainly due to our involvement in the extravagant evangelistic concerts held in night-clubs every Friday. Then, of course, the organization is fairly well-funded by well-to-do socialites and business people...

Every once in while, there are those ppl who see your soul's depths.  They cherish and caress what they see there...and bless your life.  Thank you.... 今天我和Eva碰面～～每一次有機會和她碰面和聊天都覺得很恩典，很被祝福。 上帝都會固定讓我碰到一些天使：以前在澳洲有Nat和Rach的陪伴。她們的友誼和接納都讓我有能力渡過破碎的難關。上帝通過這些管道恢復了我，醫治我。現在我身邊有像柔柔，Eva 和 Sophie 的好姊妹。如果少了她們，我很有可能早就已經崩潰！女人還是需要可以一起分享生命的女性朋友, 尤其是屬靈的伙伴。 最感動的是，Eva說上帝有告訴她，“佳靈需要聊天，或需要人陪伴的時候，你就盡量陪她聊～”。 難怪我都覺得Eva很樂意付出時間聽我的心聲。她也說，她早已經看出來我內心的一些掙扎和自己給自己的壓力和綑綁。可是上帝也吩咐她不要叫我改這個，改哪個，而上帝想親自讓我sense到這些問題。 上帝的timing到了，他就會醫治我，恢復我。Eva的角色只是hear me out~~支持我，為我代禱。 那时，我就深深的感受天父爸爸了解我～他真的知道我的需要。他在供应我～他是一位在意我的感受的神。我......只需要讓他愛我，領受他的愛。沒想到領受神的愛以及身邊朋友的愛也那麼難～我這幾年想小心一點兒，哪知會極端地維護自己，不想太愛人，也不想別人太親近我的內心～ 天父爸爸，我要再次敞開自己的心，接受你的恩典，接受你的愛，接受你的恩寵！！！我是你的寶貝！我宣告：我是你的最愛！你目中的童人！

I'm a little too exhausted mentally and physically to write about the tour. And there's the Taiwan leg to prepare for as well. Finished the tour with 3 resounding thoughts: I really want to make it as a singer-songwriter. And I really want discover my soulmate. And above all, God is still my destiny. "Who doesn't long for someone to hold? Who knows how to love you without with being told... Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone."

Fairy Tale Ending ...is my latest youtube video, released 1.5 days ago. So far,  the response to the video and the song has been fairly positive. Quick and direct as well (the quickest I've ever obtained 22 likes on youtube. It is now my highest rated video, even above 慢慢. In 2 days, that's a small achievement). I put in quite a bit of effort in making this video. Firstly, recording with a good camera (thanks Aeon), and then with all the subtitles, the lyrics and splicing.  Of course, my views are just a drop of insignificance in the OCEAN of Youtube. Honestly, I despair of any video of mine ever going viral in a good way sometimes. Youtube is now overloaded with all kinds of people who are sometimes terribly good and sometimes just terrible. I mean, with Youtube stars like David Choi and Clara C having hundreds and thousands of subscribers [or a million of them, like Nigahiga], what are my extremely paltry 300 -1500 views? It's sad. But one must not despise the days of ...

I'm a fan of the Indiana Jones movies. Well, at least 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' and 'The Last Crusade'. In my humble opinion, 'Temple of Doom' really sucked. And I haven't had a chance to watch 'The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'. 'He chose...poorly' comes from 'The Last Crusade'. The whole movie is about the quest for the Holy Grail - a cup that Jesus supposedly used at the Last Supper. This mythical Holy Grail apparently gives immortality to whoever drinks it. Indiana and a couple of villains finally locate the cave where the Holy Grail is supposed to be, and they have to choose among the hundreds and thousands of shining goblets around them. Drinking from the right cup will give you eternal life. Drinking from the wrong cup will kill you.The villain chooses the shiniest, jewel-encrusted goblet she can find. He drinks and dies. The knight who is guarding the cave says somberly, 'He chose...poorly'.  Then, Indiana reflect...

Mentoring is a calling and sometimes an unavoidable responsibility. When one has been blessed to be stuffed with teaching and life examples all your life, you've got to pass it on to people who obviously need it. Today, the youngest gal in life-group was telling us about her current BGR situation. Without going into details, it was plain from her stories that she had never been taught about godly relationships, covenantal love and promises, godly values for marriage and a life-partner, the purpose of dating etc. I was slightly troubled by her description of her current situation and was wondering if saying anything was appropriate because she was quite clueless, and I was not terribly close to her. However, as I pondered, the prompting to teach some basic truths, and share my experiences with her became stronger. I live pretty close to her, so as we were riding on the MRT I briefly gave her a short spiel on how to solve her dilemma following godly principles. She was interested, t...

Typical scene in Taipei.  Wet, rainy, cars, lights, food stalls... I know my way around a bit more. I'm an MRT expert :P. I know most of the types of food offered around here. I've been to quite a few churches, I've gotten to know hundreds of people.  The dynamic is changing somehow. I'll have to move out soon...no more cushy lifestyle up in the mountains. Boohoo. I've been enjoying the luxury of my room, double bed, fast internet, home-cooked meals etc. Now it's time to go room-hunting. Ah. The realities of life.  I am now more settled in church and life-group. So there is no urge to go run around and visit the other churches like I used to. Therefore, I meet up with some other friends less. Sigh. Have to make more effort. Friendships require effort. Networking is hard work. So this week, I visited the 7 shekels home group, I visited my Home of Christ caregroup friends, and I jammed with the Omni band.  As hard as the road gets sometimes psychologically, I ...

I was listening to Kris Valloton's podcast called 'The Marrying Kind'. He and his wife sound so sweet together, though they are grandparents already. I must confess that as I grow older I'm slightly more cynical about this whole marriage and being with a soulmate thing. Don't know if in my heart of hearts that I believe in everlasting love among humans anymore.... I mean, God is God... He will last forever. But everything else is transient, so they tell me.  The more people or rather 'potentials' I meet, it's like my shell hardens just a little more. I know I'm still pretty young. Don't know why I should be jaded or cynical about it, especially when my parents and some of my older friends seem to have pretty happy and long-lasting marriages. Somehow I wonder if I have enough faith to believe that God will provide, even though Eph 3:20 says [and every preacher quotes]  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, acc...

The luscious grapes you want are always one step out of reach.... The random other fruits you don't want tumble on your head and mess up your hair all the time....it's super annoying. Rad. I'm being sarcastic. But it's been an interesting week

When I need to be inspired, I watch videos of people dancing....dance shows like America's Best Dance Crew, SYTYCD etc....Something about dancing makes me ache in a good way inside. The ABANDON that these wonderful dancers have just transcends the physical....it taps deep into the soul.  Again, I was thinking, how hard it is to be a Christian and be a dancer that is totally free to dance....so many things to think of. Eg, Does this costume stumble anyone? Should I be dancing this closely to someone? What sort of portrayal of reality is appropriate? How should I relate to the dance partners that I work with? And so and and so forth. I don't wonder why many creative artists would rather not be hemmed in by so called religion because they want to be creative and free. Religion seems to bring so many fences, so many do's and don'ts and so many boxes.  Still figuring this all out. How does one follow God and yet be able to be totally free and creative in one's express...

The music industry is tough for many reasons. It's uncertain, it's often financially taxing, the quality of products are subjective and therefore harder to gauge etc. One of the main issues I've had to deal with is dealing with the opposite gender with wisdom.  Musicians often work odd hours. Gigs run till pretty late at night. By the time you pack up and unwind, you realise it's the wee hours of the morning. Mixing, recording and mastering in the studios are done with tight time schedules and are often done 24-7. Whatever time you can do it, especially when you're over-budget, you squeeze in time-slots at odd times of the day and night. Gigging also involves heaps of travelling. The industry also requires many meetings and brain-storms. Or collaborations and rehearsals. AND it is safe to say that the industry is male-dominated. So this means I deal with the a lot of different people of the opposite gender on a very regular basis in odd situations. This makes norma...