I was listening to Kris Valloton's podcast called 'The Marrying Kind'. He and his wife sound so sweet together, though they are grandparents already. I must confess that as I grow older I'm slightly more cynical about this whole marriage and being with a soulmate thing. Don't know if in my heart of hearts that I believe in everlasting love among humans anymore.... I mean, God is God... He will last forever. But everything else is transient, so they tell me.
The more people or rather 'potentials' I meet, it's like my shell hardens just a little more. I know I'm still pretty young. Don't know why I should be jaded or cynical about it, especially when my parents and some of my older friends seem to have pretty happy and long-lasting marriages. Somehow I wonder if I have enough faith to believe that God will provide, even though Eph 3:20 says [and every preacher quotes] Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us~~
Although lifegroup prayer was hugely encouraging and I've been making progress with songwriting, emotionally a bit low again. Worried that I'm not suffering enough and taking it too easy because my producer seems to think I have it too easy at the moment. Heh. Funny. Worried that I'm not having it HARD enough. Sheez.
I'm a bit worried that I have no where to go but forward. 好马不吃回头草。 Literally = A good horse does not eat the grass behind it.
Oh God! I am sick of this roller-coaster of emotions and battling with anxiety or depression all the time. Help help help me find peace and motivation in You always~~
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