Eva, one of the first people I met in Taiwan [on holiday 2009]
The meal was her shout. HUGZZ
Pesto chicken risotto. It's the yums!
Fettucine with prawns and cream sauce
Mojito - <3 my cocktails
Layered cake
Feeling so much better today. Thank God for friends who remind you of God's grace in beautiful ways.
One of the reasons I love my church is because it's full of people who understand and dispense God's grace. I've never heard condemnation and accusations. I've never heard my church friends around criticize other christians [though I've heard other ppl from other churches do it]. I hear honest feedback if one needs to change and grow. But they exude grace, love and authenticity.
I was whining to Eva today about how success seems to comes so easily for some people, and they don't seem to need to try very hard at all (e.g. mainly thinking about a pair of twins). Recently, one of them got married, and I struggled in my heart even more. Little, bitter thoughts like: "Gosh. Some people really do have everything...youth(still so young), looks, effortless popularity, comfort(they didn't have to learn Chinese to go minister in China), a life partner, spirituality (they look like genuine, happy believers) and here I am, struggling towards something that seems so out of reach."
Eva reminded me today that God has given me sufficient grace for this phase of the journey. I might be complaining that I have not been getting as many music jobs as I need to properly live off. But, perhaps He has taken my resolutions[in the beginning of the year] more seriously than I have. I resolved to finish my albums this year and do it well. I also resolved not to be distracted by other jobs and ministries until the albums were done.
Well, it seems like He has taken me at my word and cut off most of the things (that would distract me, including jobs). I DID say being a concert musician was not going to make me particularly happy or fulfilled. I want to be a singer/songwriter, as well as a producer/arranger. And taking more music jobs aren't going to help me achieve that goal at this point of time.
Looking back, He has provided the resources needed to record the album. My mentor, the engineers and musicians, the back up vocalists, the finances, the lyricists[though that has taken a while], the overall lyrics/words editor, the studios to record in at ridiculously cheap prices etc. While I am doing this, I still have the opportunity to arrange and record music for cutting-edge Chinese worship videos for the new GOOD TV worship program called Seraphim.
So, God has actually provided everything I need for this moment. I have been too obsessed with perceived lack.
God, before I turn 27, I want to thank you that these albums are progressing well, in good timing[you are never late]. I pray that You will continue to lead me on clearly and please train me well to be Your mouthpiece that You've always meant for me to be.
I trust in You. Again. And again. And I will try to continue to have constant faith and trust.
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