Just remembering a conversation with a student yesterday.Some details are obscured for privacy's sake.
Student A: My birthday is next .... day
Charis : O really? Happy birthday in advance. Here's a choc bar.
Student A : Thank you! It will be .... day though.
Charis : What's wrong with that?
Student A: Mom will get drunk. She does that almost every weekend. Then we can't go for dinner coz she'll just go to bed. Sometimes she even forgets to cook.
Charis: *raises eyebrows.
This was a cheerful, normal kid. Been thinking about the ads about children and alcohol on TV.
Then, I started thinking about being an example. The ad had been exhorting Aussie parents to set good examples to their kids who are always watching them.
Being an example does not come easy for me. I'm way too selfish and 'live and let live'. I've always held on to the right to do anything I needed or wanted to do, as long as it was not against the law or sin. I've even excused my own mistakes, citing that I am human.
But many a time, I've excused myself without thinking, "man..if I had a kid, or if I had a sheep, or if I had someone behind or beside me, WOULD I WANT THEM TO BE DOING THE SAME THING?"
This is not about condemning that mother. I hope the kid learns from this example and doesn't follow her mom's footsteps. This is about checking myself. I think I could have avoided a lot of trouble and also distrust from ppl if I had set my heart to be an example. It's very hard work, because it's living above the standard all the time. It's setting the bar high. I have always disliked this 'bar' term. But the thing is, it is a neccesary price to pay for influence and leadership.
I hope I can learn this lesson well now. Learning it after the kids become alcoholic or friends emulate what you do, will be a little too late.
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