It's been a harrowing week. Work was all normal, which was comforting. But I'm trying to be careful not to turn to work for comfort and use it to numb the emptiness or pain I need to fill with Jesus.
We've had dramas with the house. Dramas to me anyway, because I have struggled with anger issues against my real estate agents on and off for a year. Anytime I feel mistreated or not respected for who I really am, there is this surge of anger within me that consumes my mind. I believe the Devil takes advantage of it and sends a troop to start whispering more and more negative thoughts.
On Thursday, our agents required us to clean the house of very minor details again. My housemates were annoyed, as we had tried to do a very thorough job. But I was boiling. I couldn't even sleep on Thursday night because all I could feel was my blood pressure, and racing heart and angry angry thoughts. They were plainly malicious and murderous and I felt parylysed by them.
I went to collect the keys, feeling angrier and angrier all the while. But I brought along Joyce Meyer's 'Battlefield of the Mind' along. I knew that my thoughts were not godly. They were not loving. They were quite diabolical actually. Reading the book and meditating on the scriptures in it while I was on the bus really helped. I literally had to fiercely whisper different verses to command my mind to stop the anger. It was TOUGH. But when I was reading out a particular Psalm, part of the verse was "When my heart grows number within me, when I am wrapped in gloom, I think about your deeds".
Something in my mind snapped. I started tearing and a song came to me.
It has been weird, but in the toughest of situations mentally and emotionally, when I choose to overcome, God blesses with a song.
Here it is. A little song.
Verses:
When I am feeling overwhelmed
When i feel like I'm wrapped in gloom
I think about You
Though my courage fails
Though my heart grows numb within me
I think about You
Chorus:
I think about You, ooo ooo
I think about you, ooo ooo
You will walk with me
You are with me, inside me, around me
Your arms are around me
Bridge:
Your warmth is around me
Your love washes over me
You're in my thoughts and dreams, constantly
God, I bless those whom I think are persecuting me. And I think about You.
We've had dramas with the house. Dramas to me anyway, because I have struggled with anger issues against my real estate agents on and off for a year. Anytime I feel mistreated or not respected for who I really am, there is this surge of anger within me that consumes my mind. I believe the Devil takes advantage of it and sends a troop to start whispering more and more negative thoughts.
On Thursday, our agents required us to clean the house of very minor details again. My housemates were annoyed, as we had tried to do a very thorough job. But I was boiling. I couldn't even sleep on Thursday night because all I could feel was my blood pressure, and racing heart and angry angry thoughts. They were plainly malicious and murderous and I felt parylysed by them.
I went to collect the keys, feeling angrier and angrier all the while. But I brought along Joyce Meyer's 'Battlefield of the Mind' along. I knew that my thoughts were not godly. They were not loving. They were quite diabolical actually. Reading the book and meditating on the scriptures in it while I was on the bus really helped. I literally had to fiercely whisper different verses to command my mind to stop the anger. It was TOUGH. But when I was reading out a particular Psalm, part of the verse was "When my heart grows number within me, when I am wrapped in gloom, I think about your deeds".
Something in my mind snapped. I started tearing and a song came to me.
It has been weird, but in the toughest of situations mentally and emotionally, when I choose to overcome, God blesses with a song.
Here it is. A little song.
Verses:
When I am feeling overwhelmed
When i feel like I'm wrapped in gloom
I think about You
Though my courage fails
Though my heart grows numb within me
I think about You
Chorus:
I think about You, ooo ooo
I think about you, ooo ooo
You will walk with me
You are with me, inside me, around me
Your arms are around me
Bridge:
Your warmth is around me
Your love washes over me
You're in my thoughts and dreams, constantly
God, I bless those whom I think are persecuting me. And I think about You.
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