Today, I felt like I was repeating my life...deja vu.
A few years ago, I was cooking happily very often. I opened my house almost every week to different people to come and have a good hearty meal, because I enjoy feeding people. A lot of these were guys, because they appreciate free food more, but my best gal friends would also come along and I would feed them too. I remember my new house-mates at that time looked at me like I was weird because I was having social parties every week. They were pretty uncomfortable with it all. They were even offended that THEIR friends, who hardly visited them, would be coming every week to hang out and eat with me. In retrospect, it was a mildly amusing situation in some respects. Quite sad in other respects.
After a while, busyness and fear of wagging tongues set in. I baked less, Cooked less. Entertained less.
Today, I took a step to bless some people from Eureka. It was fun to plan the menu. Fun to see people eat up the food. Fun the introduce them to my house mates (this bunch is far more easygoing). Fun to see everyone 'breaking bread' and getting to know each other. Fun to see them playing Wii.
It was a good use of my holiday.
I felt like I was starting all over again. Getting to know new people who are just starting to grow in their walk with God. The freshness of being in a new life-group and unit. I've had such a rough journey over the last 4 years.It's left me so worn, quite jaded, and feeling so broken.
Well, it's like life just reset in 2009. Feeling queer but quite happy. This time hopefully older, wiser and I won't repeat the same mistakes. Hopefully I will walk with more stability, and regain my passion.
Still need a breakthrough in the Spirit though.Looking forward to the Bill Johnson conference tomorrow.
Ciao
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