This was from an old email I sent. I've been clearing out my inbox of old mails, particularly things that evoke unnecesssary emotions of the past. I want to press on to my future.
But this caught my eye.
I think I've lost the fire and fervour and clarity I once had at that time. It's coming back, but I need this to remind me....Sometimes, I wonder, wow, was that me? I need to rediscover me.
At the end of 2004, I wrote:
Chris Long..a great youth speaker, was so good and so funny each session. My dad was intepreter to mandarin. He was funny too.
2nd afternoon...there was a ministry time by the pastors...and i was helping out.I was very shocked at how i could give words to 3 different ppl..with confidence.I KNEW it was from the Lord..for each one..no straining to hear from God whcih i sometimes do....no trying..but i just spoke..and i could see that God touched them.I got to counsel a few too.I was very glad for the move of de Spirit...it was very unemotional and unsupernatural for me...outwardly..but i knew the confidence i had was not mine.It was the Spirit.
I was prayed for as well.Ps.Chris gave a long word.Instantly he said 'The encounters you have with God are all real.Dun doubt them.the experiences God are giving you, coz your tears have touched heaven.Each encounter, i even say, sometimes romantic encounter u have with God. God is meetin you in a special way....'
i was so touched.Remember the images I've had of Jesus and God?remember i told you sometimes God would hug me, he would sit me on his lap, he would give me a daddy's kiss, i would sit at his feet, he would swing me around..all that...?sometimes i think..am i just imagining?but twice, once from ps.Lailing, once now...GOd has confirmed he IS bringing me to a new level of intimacy..and giving me exactly what i need.
recently...sometimes God dances with me..those really cool...ballroom dancing....and there's always a lot of laughter...a lot of adoration...
there have been images of waterfalls...of HOly SPirit being like the waterfall that POURS down on a hungry me under it...'raining down on me'...there have been images of running all over the hills with God...haha...in many beautiful scenes...
I think it very strange and lovely that God is meeting me in this way. I've never experienced it b4.Until after..maybe..august?
Then Chris Long continued with memorial stones and well digging...he said the patriachs left stones and wells everywhere God did something for them. to remember and to leave a legacy. Ps Long said that I have been having many encounters and experiences, and leaving meorial stones where i went. But I have not been digging many wells...not leaving many legacies..not enough.I was to be a well digger...
i think i know what he means..i have great capacity to impact ppl..and they do remember me..and my expriences with God..but without the praying and intercession i won't be able to impact them deeply and leave a good legacy.
God's prodding me..i have not been praying or interceding faithfully enough..nor do I love ppl enough to invest so much into their lives...so i will change this
Ps Long said..'I see nothing but a great future and an awesome destiny'....
i am touched, encouraged,..and convicted.
We had quite a few ppl accept the Lord..which was very encouraging as well..
i led a girl to Christ...coz i could speak mandarin..and had to lead her in mandarin..
MAN..that was an english conference..and still i had to lead ppl in chinese..and PRAY in chinese for only the 2nd time in my life...i can't pray in chinese..i'm so tongue tied..but forced to do it.so i did..as well as i could.
Prophetic destiny...Ps Long said...is your destiny in God..when all you have still is not enough for it..and God is the one who brings you the great heights...
God may have chosen Chinese ppl for me..as...i am so totally inadequate...so ..it's the best place to put me to depend on God...hahahaha...my prophetic destiny....
Comments