Being overwhelmed is normal - breathe breathe

Did I mention that I hate doing new things? I hate doing things  I almost hyperventilate when I do something I've never done before. I don't know why. As a kid, I used to put up my hand for everything. I wonder what changed. Rach says I need sozo (inner healing session). Perhaps.

I remember different things that were so scary the first time.

• Playing synthesizer for church. I was like, "How does one do this? Why do Andrew and Teresa play so effortlessly?" Really hesitant to play anything in front of anybody.
• Playing piano in church [the main role in the band]. My youth leader literally had to drag me up there because I was so freaked out. Funnily, after I do it ONCE, it's like I'm not scared almost ever again. It becomes second nature the second time....almost. And then I wonder why I was so SO freaked out.
• Meeting people of a new culture. I'm hesitant, tongue-tied, nervous and serious. First year at the Con, I felt I was so stupid. Everyone seemed to know each other [false], everyone knew everything about jazz and I didn't [false], I was Asian and I looked silly [false]...
• Continuation (meeting people of a new culture): Having the same issue in Taiwan. Much of their vocabulary and culture is even more foreign to me than Australia. So yes, tongue-tied, over-serious, nervous, cautious. I'm starting to loosen up a bit though. Bread of life cell-group are now saying, 'I didn't think you were this funny", "You're a joker, i didn't expect that" etc...But every-time I meet a new group of people who talk differently, my jokes dry up and nervous hand twisting sets in :(
• Singing in front of anyone new....freak freak freak out.
• Music exams. First year in the Con I had gastric problems every time I had performance exams.
• Driving in strange places. I was so so scared of driving in Brisbane because my sense of direction is lousy. It took me a long while to muster up the courage [with the encouragement of kind brothers like Allister] to drive long distances, drive in the city, and park in the city. One week of driving - and there was no more gripping the steering wheel in fear that I was lost...or going to be. 
• Pumping petrol. I have such an odd fear of it when I haven't done it for a while, or there's a new style of pumping. I was too think that pumping petrol in OZ land was scary...coz there was no automatic cut-off when you reached the amount you pre-paid for. You controlled it yourself..and I had this erratic fear of not being able to stop in time. HAHA....well....I got over that quickly in the first week of driving in Brisbane.
• Physics concepts. Before I GET each concept, I have this period of worrying and freaking out that I can't seem to understand a thing about this new concept....after I get it...it's like second nature and I wonder why I was so worried about it before.

Well, Taiwan has been full of new experiences and steep learning curves. And believe me, it gets wearying when you are freaked out so often. But I believe that I just need to tell myself feeling a little overwhelmed by new things is normal and I need not fear. God is with me and I need to be bold and courageous.