Listening to: How He Loves Us
Mood: So emotional I must be PMS-ey. URG
I'm just pessimistically thinking that it sometimes really...isn't that fun to be Oriental or Malaysian. Besides all the wonderful food, there isn't much else that works in my favour at the moment.
Thinking of modern day fairytale stories like Zee Avi's, and feel kinda lost and stuck. It helps that she's dark. White people can then assume you're black. Same thing if you're Indian. At least you're Caucasian. In the entertainment business [English], it helps to be either white or black. Not Oriental. Unless you're a child prodigy violinist...or an orchestral violinist. Whatever....Something like that. Not a singer-songwriter.
Urgh. Even Charice Pempegno is darkish....of the same stock as Malays anyway.
And of course, being Malaysian at this stage is so...annoying. I ache when I see all the unjust stuff in the country become more and more apparent because I'm older and I can understand what's going on now. I hate that we're always not good enough linguistically for anyone....our Manglish, our Mchinese, or whatever. Why does everyone spend so much time criticizing each other's accents anyway? The Brits make fun of the Americans, and vice versa, the Taiwanese think they are the be all and end all of Chinese accents, and of course, the Mainland people won't agree....and what about us South East Asians? I dunno. Coz we're descended from migrants...so we all have inferiority complexes about our language accents?
I feel sick when I hear about political going-ons in Malaysia. And I feel guilty sometimes, like I'm not doing enough to make a difference.
And in this Mando-pop industry....I'm not Chinese Chinese enough to be an outstanding songwriter. But from the looks of things, it will be even hard to enter into the Western industry. I don't have outstanding vocal pipes. Don't even have really outstanding anything. You know, sometimes it would help to be really just bad at something rather than mediocre. Coz it really sucks to be half way hanging....with so called potential but never quite good enough.
Enough....sleep.
Comments