"Ordinary People"
It's been a crazy few days emotionally. Man, 'showbiz' can take it's toll on you! A little taste of it and I'm already spinning around, wondering what to do with my roller-coaster feelings. It's no wonder so many ppl in showbiz go into rehab, get suicidal or something bad and drastic. Or they quit and retire.
On one hand, I had my first pseudo-negative comment on Youtube today. By a friend. An honest comment. He didn't like it and he's entitled to his opinion. And then I had half-compliments from Facebook friends, "Oo..I like your singing but only the Malay half of the song you sang". And on Youtube, someone deliberately created an account today just to like the 'Ordinary People' video above. The same person commented that they loved Ray [didn't say anything about me...but at least they didn't comment anything negative]. And this person went to my GOOD TV link and said, "I like Charis singing English better".
HAHAHAHA. It's funny and it stings all at the same time!! All this half compliments, half insults, half constructive things...And I've BARELY made a splash on Youtube and Facebook yet. It shouldn't affect me but it does. Dan used to tell me I needed to thicken up my skin for such a career. And t some extent I have. But it must be one of those days that everything just magnified by a emotional microscope or something.
Of course, on the other hand, my family is ultra-supportive. Some of my great online fans and friends have been sharing my links and giving great comments. Even asking for Chinese translations of my messages. I happily obliged. My life-group is also incredibly supportive. They patiently or enthusiastically listen to my videos depending on who they are, they download them [ah that one's a fan], they pray for me and today, my LG leader prophesied that God wanted to use my voice as a bridge to bring people to God and faith. And that signs/wonders and miracles would happen when I sang. Wow. Me? I've had a word from Belle before about working in the miraculous like Moses. Wonder how that is all going to happen. And also the word from Joan about a phase of ministry in the future involving signs/wonders needing that deep intimacy with God. Hmm.....
Anyway. with insecurities about my appearance and weight on TV, and how even harmless little comments like these affect me, I'm no way ready for sudden fame. I've been having all these questions in my heart? God, am I really cut out for this sort of life? Please don't give me more than I can bear. Don't let this destroy me. God it would be so easy just to be a free-lance musician and not reach for the stars. But that would be settling in fear. Not in faith.
Glad God is taking me through slowly, getting me all toughened, trained and prepared bit by bit. It's all a crazy balance of staying creative, yet professional and grounded. Staying free but remembering not to stumble anyone if you can help it. Listening to feedback, but not banking your self-worth on comments. Argh! God help!
HAHAHAHA. It's funny and it stings all at the same time!! All this half compliments, half insults, half constructive things...And I've BARELY made a splash on Youtube and Facebook yet. It shouldn't affect me but it does. Dan used to tell me I needed to thicken up my skin for such a career. And t some extent I have. But it must be one of those days that everything just magnified by a emotional microscope or something.
Of course, on the other hand, my family is ultra-supportive. Some of my great online fans and friends have been sharing my links and giving great comments. Even asking for Chinese translations of my messages. I happily obliged. My life-group is also incredibly supportive. They patiently or enthusiastically listen to my videos depending on who they are, they download them [ah that one's a fan], they pray for me and today, my LG leader prophesied that God wanted to use my voice as a bridge to bring people to God and faith. And that signs/wonders and miracles would happen when I sang. Wow. Me? I've had a word from Belle before about working in the miraculous like Moses. Wonder how that is all going to happen. And also the word from Joan about a phase of ministry in the future involving signs/wonders needing that deep intimacy with God. Hmm.....
Anyway. with insecurities about my appearance and weight on TV, and how even harmless little comments like these affect me, I'm no way ready for sudden fame. I've been having all these questions in my heart? God, am I really cut out for this sort of life? Please don't give me more than I can bear. Don't let this destroy me. God it would be so easy just to be a free-lance musician and not reach for the stars. But that would be settling in fear. Not in faith.
Glad God is taking me through slowly, getting me all toughened, trained and prepared bit by bit. It's all a crazy balance of staying creative, yet professional and grounded. Staying free but remembering not to stumble anyone if you can help it. Listening to feedback, but not banking your self-worth on comments. Argh! God help!
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