It's almost 2011. Reflecting on many things. Girding up myself mentally and emotionally before plunging into the deep ocean of the unknown!
I clicked on a good buddy's page Facebook page. He's been a part of the group that I hung with all those years in Brisbane. The people who are around for graduations and birthdays. The people who are close enough to frustrate you occasionally but who are there to help you move house and drive you to the airport. It hits me occasionally that I was incredibly blessed to have had friends around me to share life with.
I remember many a time that I've wanted to be someone's close friend. Someone I deemed out of reach. Someone 'cool' or someone 'hip'. Or I wanted to be part of a circle that excluded me. The remnants of the adolescent in me still cries for acceptance from everyone, and especially anyone considered cool. 'Cool' can mean many things in different contexts, but it basically meant whoever was popular in that context. To me, I was always at the fringe, trying to fit in. Trying to find somewhere to belong to. Trying to make sure they all loved me and that I was cool too. Those emotions still come back when I experience so called imaginary 'slights' from people that I want to be accepted by.
But I seem to forget that so many people think I'm cool....sounds narcissistic but everyone comes from a different perspective. I forget that many people who love to have what I have. I forget that some people probably feel excluded from the circle I hung out with. They too might have wanted to come to our birthdays and road trips. They too, might have wanted to hang out at our frequent dinners and catch ups. And they probably wanted the deep friendship and inside jokes we shared. They might even want the quarrels and hang-ups we have that we weather out to become even better friends.
Have I opened my eyes to the people around me?A bit of love and friendship from me might have made their day? Time to be less self-focused. See things from other people's perspectives. I'm incredibly blessed to have people around me who have been my friends. I am blessed to have the gifts that I have, and the opportunities to chase life-dreams. It's my responsibility to pass on love, blessings and opportunities to others too.
God. Keep me thankful and keep me courageous. Above all, keep me soaked in Your love and presence in 2011 because it is the only anyone else around me is going to get any love too.
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