2012 - Focus

2011 was a remarkable year but also terribly stressful year.

As I reflect upon last year, I realize that the most common emotion I experienced was a sickening paralysis at every cross-road. And there were so many crossroads. Still more to come.

One of the main contributing factors to this paralysis was because I was trying to do too many things, trying to be too many 'personas' at one time. There were constant tug-of-wars for my attention. My mind often felt defragmented because every pathway pulled in different directions.

Be a fully Chinese artist? Be a bi-lingual artist? Be an independent English artist? Work the youtube thing? Move into China websites? HOW do China websites work? Should I keep pursuing being a professional musician? Is it possible to be an artist AND a musician? Is there time for both? Why is my ego getting in the way of so many things? Why am I trying to be something that feels so unnatural at the moment?? Is there any practical use for a bunch of songs some random person like me writes? When I do all of these things, I don't really have the time or energy to evangelize in the city, or 'enrich' myself in all sorts of seminars...so does God mind? How does the Lord want to position me? Am I slowing my own progress by not being as disciplined, hardworking, and passionate about this whole thing?

Etc.

You can imagine how hard it is to sleep and live with such thoughts constantly churning in my head.

After some prayer and discussion with my parents and various mentors/friends, I have decided to narrow down my focus for 2012.

Jan-April: The focus will be on my Chinese music showreel + building my fan-base+looking for management. If I have spare time I will record my English tracks. As much as possible, I shall concentrate my energies to these goals. Musician jobs and ministry tasks should be mostly put on hold at the moment. 

I'll be also spending time in prayer to see how God leads next. 

Please pray together with me. Thank you!