A FB memory popped up today. It was a collection of photos from my first time recording with GOODTV. Looking back at the photos I don't think the styling was that great (in hindsight), but I had a bunch of supportive friends from OZ-land who cheered my baby steps forward.
It's been almost 7 years since I've first moved to Formosa-land. It's pictures and memories like this that remind me how fresh, expectant and naive I was when I first arrived(despite being a lot less naive than when I was 18 and first moved to Ozland).
Yes, I do cringe at a few things like some of my fashion choices (and those of the makeup/styling artists that I've worked with); like some of my performances and recordings that could have been much better. But sometimes I wish I could always remain that expectant and keep that 'wonder'. Ravi Zacharias wrote a book about the importance of wonder in our walk with God. Been doing some examinations of my own heart and I find that jadedness so quickly creeps in when one is not on guard.
The first 1-2 years in Taiwan, I was freaked out and insomniac half the time. That I don't want to go back to. But I was always looking for opportunities to practise, to learn, to write. I wrote quite a few good songs and many more trivial ones. But I was wide-eyed at everything I participated in, and willing to work for mostly any sum of money It might have seemed naive and stupid to some, but I think it was the best attitude to have that stimulated much growth and learning. I arranged quite a few interesting projects, and got to know tons of people who are all important work partners in life right now.
As I am typing, I'm listening to an official live recording of DT's concert in HK. I can hear our voices on many tracks, singing parts that are so familiar now, and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. It's so easy to be jaded in this industry. So easy. I've done many shows since then. Maybe 30-40 shows overall. It's easy to look at where I'm at and feel stuck, frustrated, or discontent because I want to be heading to something so much more. But the music reminds me of when Andrew first told me I got the gig, and I was singing praises of thanksgiving to God for providing such a wonderful and suitable opportunity. Only God would know that through high school I listened to DT's music prob more than any other Mandopop artist (besides Stephanie Sun). It provided me with so much experience, a good item on my resume and was a big help financially too. As I get ready to do another show this week as a 'senior citizen' of the band, as DT called me, hah, I want to come to God with that same gratefulness, the same thankful heart, and the same openness to learn and to give my best.
The day will come when I get to release my own stuff properly (i declare right now). And I will get to headline my own tour. I don't to ever be jaded about it. Or take it for granted. Even when I pursue greater things or different things. I receive and go forward with gratefulness and wonder.
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