Charismatic

It's a really difficult theological issue. The Omni-potence of God. And the free will of men. The answer to the evils and the good of this world. Some people are fatalistic [Buddhists, Muslims, even some Christians]. No one can go against God and his will. Others say, no we can make or break our own lives. It's the 100% God, 100% man principle that's really difficult the grasp. It's true God is sovereign. But God willed that man shall choose [albeit within the boundaries He has set]. And man CAN choose. They can choose to be out of God's will. Or in it. One choice causes evil and suffering, one leads to love and peace. When I think about my future, I know it's safe in God's hands. But I also know, no matter what, I can also mess it up. I'm thinking till it hurts...about the stories in the Bible that show this. Samson, a classic example of a man with a great calling.[c'mon, an angel announced his birth. How many people have had that happen to them?]...

Being a musician is tiring. People think it's relaxing and fun to be in a music course. I think when they meet me they change their minds. Haha. Try coordinating teams of 10-15 people. Try conveying an emotion or an idea. Try getting some musicians to play in time or on pitch. Try getting backup singers to sing exact pitches at exact volumes. 5 hours of rehearsals yesterday proved stressful to the max. I was so exhausted. Trying to do things efficiently wihtout wasting anyone's time or stepping on anyone's toes. Yet get the sound or notes I want. Or feel, which is even more difficult. Wish i was content not to do so much and keep the show simple. But I love arrangements and I love putting together layers of stuff. I'd like to be mentored by someone like John Foreman. But first, can I learn how to do this without stressing?

Sometimes, problems that happen to me aren't because of me. Yes. A big part problems are caused by me. However, when people are rude, or don't think before they speak, suspicious, or paranoid, it's NOT my problem. I am annoyed when people claim to have wisdom and discernment when they misread me completely. Defensive and can't take correction when they preach humility. It's time not to burden myself. It's time to trust that God believes in me, He is proud of me if no one else is. It's time to stop trying pleasing people or even be good friends with everyone. Some people are just not worth the trouble. Some are too dangerous to hang around. God, help me not take burdens that are not mine. I have tried my best to live at peace with everyone. Please help me be less self centered because not every problem is my fault. I shall stop taking responsibility for everyone. Forgive, 70 X 7 times. Grace, to cover all my weak spots, my wounded heart. Lord, when is this s...

I have discovered something about myself. I really find it hard to accept people for who they are, especially if who they are makes me hurt or uncomfortable. One of the primary reasons is: TADA, I don't like staying as who I am either. I'm not satisfied with status quo. I want to keep moving. That's a good thing. But it's a bad thing when it's applied to everyone besides me. That I cannot control. Boundaries has taught me: I am responsible for myself. I cannot control my emotional reactions, but I can continue their continuity, or the actions that spring forth form them. I cannot control others. I cannot expect them to change for me. The world does not revolve around me. Fundamentally, I think I am selfish and self-centered. Mom used to complain, "you live and let live. You never move an inch more than you have to." Well, that has changed a lot. I am so inspired by God, and I do love people much more. I am willing to step o...

To walk the extra mile is to risk walking the extra mile back (that means 2 extra miles) Found this on a friend's blog. Hmm. It's true. Wonder how many extra miles God has walked for me? Or my parents? Or my close friends? Or some unseen benefactors? Thank you all. Hope I can keep walking 2 extra miles too, for others...

Haha. it's 11.25 pm. I have 10 days before my thesis is due. I've been fairly productive, and I REALLY praise God for his continual sustenance. This is really the hand of God. I usually take 2-3 days to finish 1000 words or so. I've been able to type incessantly and edit incessantly, pumping out about 1000 or more a day. Thank you to all who are praying for me. Please don't stop. HAHA. it's not over yet. Everything will be over on the 14th of Nov. I COVET your prayers, even short 10 second ones. I'm taking a short mental break from writing about THE TRANSITION OF WORSHIP MUSIC OVER THE PAST 40 YEARS. I'm here to honour my Momma. I've spent some time in the past praising my dear Papa, who is one of the best Dads I know. I don't know how many people can boast of a father who is both a financial provider, a natural leader, as well as a spiritual leader of the household and of many. But this post is of Mom. I owe much of ...

This post is dedicated to my dear pastor and spiritual 'mother' Pastor Lai Ling. Although I respect Pastor Wilson as my dear pastor as well, who is wise, calm, balanced, visionary and preaches solid sermons, I have had the privilege to interact with Ps. Lai Ling more personally and experienced something of this wonderful woman's heart. Ps. Lai Ling is one of the most godly women I know. A woman of prayer, she is also one of those who give consistently sharp prophetic words that really speak to the situation people are in. The many prophetic words she has given me have really helped me in the past 4 years to not give up, but press on toward what God has for me. [I'm sure God will give her lots of nice rewards in heaven, for edifiying me and many others]. A quality I really admire is her capacity to be sympathetic with everyone she ministers to and to hear them out [evident pastoral gifting and heart]. If anyone should be awarded 'best pastor/shepherd...