Charismatic

My friend writes really poetic, poignant posts. One of her recent one's struck a chord in heart, because it echoed the ache I feel for several of my friends who have turned away from God, or I've shared with time and time again, but they seem to have impenetrable hearts. Quotes from her post  (bracketed additions mine): What I know, what I see, even if I told you, it might never sink into your heart right now… bit by bit.. I know God is making sense to you and seriously, my dear friend, He is the missing factor in your life. I pray you will stop compromising yourself for all these earthly things that will fade one day. I pray eternity will make sense to you. I pray that your life is lived with spiritual longevity in mind. I pray so much for you, that your heart be softened and be made new, be made whole. Everything that you’ve tried to fill yourself with to fill this void that you have, they’ve all emptied you even more and hurt you deeper. My friend(s), may you allow yours...

Such a poignant song. I love Kate Miller-Heidke.  Initially I didn't like this song, but the lyrics are starting to stand out. And they are gorgeous. Look down The ground below is crumbling Look up The stars are all exploding It's the last day on earth In my dreams, in my dreams It's the end of the world And you've come back to me in my dreams Between The dust and the debris There's a light Surrounding you and me It's the last day on earth In my dreams, in my dreams It's the end of the world And you've come back to me in my dreams And you hold me closer Than I can ever remember being held I'm not afraid to sleep now If we can stay like this until It's the last day on earth In my dreams, in my dreams It's the end of the world And you've come back to me In my head I replay our conversations Over and over 'til they feel like hallucinations You know me, I love to lose my mind And every time Anybody speaks your name I still fe...

It's much easier to say no or to choose correctly when one is generally whole and healthy.  A lot of the time, I think 'holy'= whole.  In the past, I made various bad choices that were 'inevitable' choices at that time because of  the broken and damaged state of my soul/heart. In my experience, one cannot make holy choices if one is not whole. 

Deut 1:21 See, the LORD your God has given you the land. Go up and take possession of it as the LORD, the God of your fathers, told you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deut 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." 2 Chron 15: 7  But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded." There are many more. Looks like humans freak out a lot. Well, yes. Life freaks me out. Perhaps I think too much. But the last 2 years have freaked me out heaps. I always seem to be standing at the edge of a cliff and there's no where to go but forward. What I see in front of me makes me want to run screaming backward, or jump off, or divert. But there's no where to go. To jump...

I was running through youtube playlists. I usually put all the arrangements and performances I do for GOOD TV and pop artists into one playlist. There were quite a few. About 20. Anyway, here are some of the recent ones I played for.  Starting at 12.24. I played this for a finalist from 1 million stars, and directed the Malaysian band called The Remnant. I must say it wasn't one of the best performances because I was put on the spot to direct the band and they're really young and raw. It wasn't like playing with the Americans :-), coz Sam and Jaben are a lot older, experienced and totally awesome. BUT, people on Facebook seemed to like the backing music. They commented on it. So...I'll put it up plus the comments (It's the last comment). 寧靜時分2011-03-16 www.youtube.com ‎1. 祂的恩典夠用+每一天+主是平安: 好消息詩班 2. 神的道路: 天韻詩班 3. Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus: 曾增譯 4. 全新的你: 梁一貞 加入粉絲頁： http://www.facebook.com/2010qu iettime 12 hours ago  ·  Like  ·   ·  Share ...

I realized something about myself. I love being part of team. I don't like doing stuff alone. BUT it's way harder to do things with other people. So many factors to consider.  Those who know me well should know that volleyball was a sport I was passionate about since I was 11 till I finished high school. I was motivated enough to practice 2-3 times a week even when official practice was only once a week. I relished competition times when I could play 6 hours a day, for 2 weeks straight. I don't know why I developed such a love for the sport. I'm totally unsuited for it. I'm short. I'm not naturally strong [some of the shorties on the team with me had like freakishly strong arms. I did not. I'm not naturally very athletic. My parents were skilled table-tennis players, not volleyball champs. But somehow, I never picked up table-tennis. I love volleyball for all it is: the digging, the spiking, the court plays etc. But most of all, I love being part of team. I...

Some thoughts: Frivolous as it sounds, I think I have the wrong face for TV. It's a dumpling. Like....no contours, just a round, plump, fair thing :-( To look good on TV, once has to be about 5 kgs lighter than my current weight. But that skeletal in real life! It's almost impossible for me to lose that kinda weight unless I'm sick. So yea. Sigh I'm getting more comfortable playing live in heavy make up and with no rehearsal time. Just wing it. Vocals can still be stronger. I still can't improvise on the high end without cracking. Cringing as I hear myself disappear on high ends. I should really practice to be more excellent vocally,not cower behind the "I don't see myself as a singer" excuse. If God has mandated that I should sing, then I should sing, and do it well.  Well, when all's said and done, Jesus is still the lover of my soul. He picked me up from the miry clay, and continues to do so when I fall into the Sloughs of Despondency [Pil...