Charismatic

這幾年都會羨慕生活比較穩定的人。可能是因為這幾年都不確定自己的未來會是甚麼樣子。 例如：我會羨慕妹妹。每次聽到妹妹開開心心地規劃自己未來 ［尤其是關於婚姻，家庭和為國家服務的規劃］， 我都會覺得自己的未來像一片曠野～心裡會冷笑，5年后我又會在哪兒呢？是不是又需要搬家了？我開始不敢對自己的未來有太仔細的規劃和期望～因為我的生活就是彈性很大～連下個月的時間表都有點不肯定。 我會懷疑自己到底有沒有勇氣一直面對這種確定未來不？ 我有沒有辦法面對夢想不成真的可能性？ 常會有那種快要崩潰，隨時會抓狂的感覺一波一波地攻擊我的心。 一直要提醒自己，是上帝帶領我來到台灣。我必須一直信靠他～要對自己宣告 : 耶 利 米 書 29:11 耶 和 華 說 ： 我 知 道 我 向 你 們 所 懷 的 意 念 是 賜 平 安 的 意 念 ， 不 是 降 災 禍 的 意 念 ， 要 叫 你 們 末 後 有 指 望 。

Of course, I'm not referring to THAT soap. I'm talking about a loosely constructed organization called the Fire-makers,  a bunch of Christian artists/musos/hair and makeup stylists etc who are...well, young and restless.  After reflecting on 2012, I realised that the Fire-makers have become community for me in the areas of work and ministry. * I am still involved with my 'normal people/normal life' cell-group. They are 'family' in ways that divert me from the music world, which is very necessary sometimes. And they keep me in touch with the 'normal' world of people who work 9am to 5pm [or 8am - 8pm more likely], who don't play instruments, who are experts in other fields etc.  From October to December, I saw most of the Fire-makers every 1-2 days, mainly due to our involvement in the extravagant evangelistic concerts held in night-clubs every Friday. Then, of course, the organization is fairly well-funded by well-to-do socialites and business people...

I get a little worried when songs that have been trending are tracks like these:  Far East Movement are an Asian-American group. I have a lot of respect for them in a business sense, and also to some extent, musically. However, I wonder if the lifestyle and the values they are consciously AND unconsciously spreading around is the best thing for their sphere of influence. I was going to post Nicki Minaj's latest video called 'Stupid Hoe'. It was released yesterday, I think. But I was thinking that my parents read this blog and they would be probably be disgusted by the video. Heh. so i decided to post this video of Sophia singing 'Super Bass'. It's a great single, catchy and full of fun. And Sophia is a phenomenally talented and charismatic little 8-year-old.  But... 'Super Bass' lyrics....have you ever checked them out? Granted, Sophia isn't much aware of what she's singing. But still.... How does one create great art, that speaks tru...

Head down....gird up those loins.... 衝阿！ Really difficult to make every minute and every hour count. But I'm trying very hard.

2011 was a remarkable year but also terribly stressful year. As I reflect upon last year, I realize that the most common emotion I experienced was a sickening paralysis at every cross-road. And there were so many crossroads. Still more to come. One of the main contributing factors to this paralysis was because I was trying to do too many things, trying to be too many 'personas' at one time. There were constant tug-of-wars for my attention. My mind often felt defragmented because every pathway pulled in different directions. Be a fully Chinese artist? Be a bi-lingual artist? Be an independent English artist? Work the youtube thing? Move into China websites? HOW do China websites work? Should I keep pursuing being a professional musician? Is it possible to be an artist AND a musician? Is there time for both? Why is my ego getting in the way of so many things? Why am I trying to be something that feels so unnatural at the moment?? Is there any practical use for a bunch of songs...

Hung with my 3 sisters, sister's bf and mom. We attended Joanna's wedding and did the foodie thing around Penang. I'm enjoying my new Olympus camera :D I'll be doing a full food blog post later. Feebs, me and Dorcas Joanna and Joshua All of us  Waves on my red toe-nails At the beach the next morning. Mom being cute 4 sisters on the rocks Ain't it pretty? Hawker Food Goodies So hot...need a bool of refreshing cendol